@Kibbles_and_Vicks: I bet the same thing that goes through a straight guy's mind when his cock is in his girlfriend's vagina or asshole.

What a way to try and kill yourself. Jesus. My ex-husband's mother set herself on fire and I always thought that was a brutal way to do it, but this is right up there. Get well, funny man. Get well.

@Turd Ferguson: If it had been Jeanne Morris doing the interview, she would have punched the crap out of him. And Johnny Morris deserves everything he gets.

He was always more jovial by the time he did the live show at 10 pm. Jovial and completely hammered. And wearing sunglasses.

I made room in my closet for the gentleman caller to hang his clothes up last week since he had about 5 days worth of clothes on my bedroom floor, including a suit. No, I am not trying to get you to move in, I just don't want to look at your shit on my floor. Hang your shit up when you take it off. I don't care if…

@blogsarefun: I still don't get the Cutler deal, to be honest. He has a ton of potential, that I can see. But it is like we forgot that we need somebody at every other position on the team. And no draft pics left to rebuild. And we know their cheap asses aren't going to spend lavishly on the free agent market to…

@Pete Gaines: I thought the same thing, but given the situation, I couldn't bring myself to say it. Everytime I see Michael McCaskey I want to punch him in the cock.

I don't blame Lovie for everything. I really don't but not firing Ron Turner 3 years ago was a huge mistake. The Bears have to rebuild both lines, the linebackers, the secondary. Pretty much everything. How is Jerry Angelo not fired, too?

@CanHeHackett: In my opinion, I did college very well. I had a really good time, learned what I needed to both academically and socially. I am just surprised that someone would get engaged while still in undergrad. I think you are missing out on a good portion of the college experience that way ( ie, lots of…

Maybe I did college wrong but who gets engaged while still in college anymore? Or is the MRS degree back in fashion?

Wow, who are the other 2.5 girls?

Stuff White People Like is going to be all over this.

Dear A.J., Please contact your aunt. She went to see Jersey Boys and was expecting to meet you for lunch afterwards but has not heard from you since. Call her already.

Then he went on to add that Tiger has been in hiding with Bin Laden.

Another great year, Deadspin. I enjoyed the purge of 2009. There was lots of rage and rage always makes me laugh. Because I'm an asshole like that. Oh and for crying out loud, how is the COTY not named the You All Wish You Were As Good At This As Gourmet Spud, But You Are Not Award? Too long?

Ralph Malph is a moody little bitch these days.

@obfuscator: I beg to differ, fellas. There is a huge difference.

See, I think the thing is, when you get married, you do think you are making a committment to that person and building a life together. No matter how much people make fun of their spouses and the crazy stuff women or men say and do. You do really think about the goals you have together and that you are going to work…

@Armen Tamzarian: I use WHORES in the universal sense.

Katie, WHORE is the preferred nomenclature around these parts. Welcome.