This is my Christmas morning! Still kind of bummed that the boring Amanda Miranda Panda beat the sublime Tunis Van Peenen last year.

Shit like this is what makes soccer unwatchable.

Should have went with the breakfast Quesalupa.

I know who I’d rather hang out with. And yes, I remember the rape allegation.

“Gladiator” was terrible. “The Revenant” is average. “Mad Max: Fury Road” should win all the awards.

Is Pitbull real? He seems like an SNL character to me.

This is not a good reason to like a musician.

Janet Jackson approves.

Shit, my wife won’t let me cut out our cable package because she likes to fall asleep to Golden Girls reruns.

I already assumed every NFL player used some kind of performance enhancers. I mean, you’ve seen J.J. Watt, right? To paraphrase“Shit My Dad Says”, he looks like he should be on display in a stall at the county fair with some poor asshole sweeping up his shit.

Creepy immortal Abe Lincoln vampire over Bowman’s shoulder.

Good to know that despite what happened in the Super Bowl, the Seattle Seahawks remain the luckiest team in the NFL.

It’s the Brotherhood of Steel Bomber Jacket.

Herm Edwards and Cris Carter were on ESPN yesterday absolutely ripping the Browns for putting Sashi Brown in charge. Herm was shouting “HIRE A FOOTBALL GUY!” at the top of his lungs. I can’t wait to see what the old guard makes of this.

Definitely a top-five all-time second baseman. I don’t know if they give much credit for positions other than shortstop and catcher, though.

Kanye has always sucked. This is just the latest example.

lol @ comparing Paul Molitor to Barry Lamar. Priceless.

Jaquiski Tartt is getting fined for taking Cutler to Suplex City.

Doesn’t it seem odd to be romancing anyone after just seeing your spouse shot in the head?

Shawn is the baby’s name.