bassguitarhero's all-purpose guide to life: Are you going to do a thing? Have you spent more than 3 seconds thinking about it? Have you thought about it from literally anybody else's perspective other than your own?

I'm gonna make my own lifestyle website! It will mostly be variations on mashed potatoes and pictures of my nail polish collection.

The servers and I got along well and I tipped each of them well. I am never a dick, I am just enthusiastic.

I know, it's like the easiest job ever and here we are, toiling away like suckers!

"Look, girls! Don't worry about which scientists or philosophers have insulin pumps! Who cares?" Yep, that's exactly what this article said. You nailed it!

whatever. Puritanical bullshit.

Sorry, Mark. I should have mentioned that after our uh, adjustments meeting.

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Oh I am fully aware and I accept the rights and responsibilities that come with this.

You just wrote Blake Lively fanfic. I wanted you to know that.

1. "Not many women can wear denim overalls, strappy Louboutin stilettos, and a Navajo-blanket poncho and get away with it, but Blake Lively can. "

One time Phoenix punched me in the face...it was AWESOME.

How and why did Blake Lively get a THIRD Vogue cover? Has she done ANYTHING since Gossip Girl other than get married and have long hair?

Hey, did you know you could also hack Candy Crush for unlimited coins and money or whatever currency they use in the kingdom of diabetes?