I’d like to find out too. According to the NRA guy (Wayne... something?), it’s $1500 a week. I need the cash so I can go buy some guns and fulfill my destiny as one of those left-wing violent extremists Wayne has been warning everyone about.

I keep getting this eye-wateringly bad graphic of a woman’s panty ass and the words “what about accidental anal?”, usually followed by “This 1960s TV star who used to be hot is now really gross-looking and ancient because we don’t understand that whole passage-of-time thing, you won’t believe what she looks like now”.

Like that oh so tasteful “Watch what Biotech crap could boil up and scald the masses under Dump” monstrosity at the bottom of the page? Who algorithmed that garbage?

THAT WOULD BE OH SO AWESOME

I recently had an emergency appendectomy. All the bills combined would have ran me about $35k. How many iPhones is that?

I wonder if Jezabel and Lifehacker will refrain from posting “deals” and shopping links tomorrow?

I used to look in the mirror and cry when I was 8 because I thought I looked like a camel. I am nothing short of thrilled that butts are in, though being constantly reminded of my BIG ASS from passersby is extremely uncomfortable.

Where’s that sweet Soros money

I mean, Carrie Fisher died of nicotine, drug she was still using. She loved that drug and she certainly did it more of it than smack or LSD.

Here are some photos of Kim Kardashian on the set of Ocean’s 8.

It was in the same memo that discussed the new cover sheets on the TPS reports.

I had a dream that I was placed in arranged marriage with Ted Cruz. I was running around freaking out about the impending sex but it all worked out because it turned out that he didn’t do sex and we could just lie if anyone asked.

Or as equally pertinent - can we please not have endless remakes of stories that we’ve all seen before, decades ago?

I want him totally disabled but alive so he can experience the warm glow of the prison infirmary at Leavenworth.

Yep, don’t give a rip about his idiot true believers at this point. They chose the Dumb Life, let them roll around in it or wander into traffic or pass out smoking in a bed with polyester sheets or whatever.

It’s like the two ends of the same spectrum reaching around and touching each other. Is that gay?

Putin was also incensed that two men would ride horses, plural, fully clothed.

Dear Universe,

As long as it gets him riled up and acting like a 4-year old whose parents won’t buy him his seventh candy bar, so he can throw a temper tantrum on national TV and continue to prove how much of a shitstain he is, it’s all fine by me.