I hiss at people on a regular basis. Like seriously, scrunch up my lips and “hisss”. It’s very rewarding.

Omg you gotta spill.

Is it just me or is Kim slowly morphing into Cher circa 1974?

Really she can just now afford Satan’s glam squad....

I feel that way about that Kardashian dumbass. T Swift is pretty harmless, doesn’t do much to be a deliberate dumb shit just for attention.

Fucking FUCK, enough with putting Plastic Barbie front and center on half of the Jez roundups. I’ve heard enough about her nonsense. Please find something worthwhile, interesting, DIFFERENT to pay attention to.

I am always hoping for some really great gossip to pull me out of the lizard king from a slimy hell news (which I keep up on but enjoy some mindlessness now and then). And this....sigh. I really need a Katie Holmes tell all book right about now. Katie! Give us something to look forward to, here!

Baby’s first words

Jlo made a satanic pact to become more gorgeous as she got older. Me? I just get slightly larger man tits.

Twinsoncé

Night of the Gun and The Tender Bar are really good. I just can’t with spoiled brat bored hipster babygirls. Mommy think pieces are just lame.  

I got so many compliments in my early twenties when I dropped three dress sizes ( I was only a UK size 12 130lbs to start with). It was when I was so depressed that I had stopped eating, wasn’t sleeping and had started self-harming. When people said “Oh look how lovely and slim you are” it was just... what? Do I look…

I need an ending with a drug memoir. I need you clean or I need a post-script that says your dead, otherwise I feel like I’m just enabling you.

Mommy-memoirs, though. Christ. BITCH, YOU DID NOTHING BUT POOP OUT A KID. GET OVER YOURSELF.

New mom think pieces - UGH! It’s either “I never had a reason for living until now. There is no greater experience in life than giving birth to life. I am now whole.” Or “This is so tough, guys. It’s really hard. You think you might be tired, but you’ve never actually been tired unless you’ve had a baby.” Childless…

OH BLECH new mom blogs.

Remember Cat Marnell’s essay about how abortion is bad and terrible and totally murdering a baby, and yes she’s had lots of them and will undoubtedly have more because she hates condoms and birth control makes her fat which makes it perfectly acceptable in her case, but they’re still horrible when anyone else has…

There’s a 99.9% chance I wrote a rude comment in that piece.

Yeah the only difference between her and any random addict on the streets is an endless supply of cash and a pretty face (which won’t stay pretty for long if she keeps living like this).

en serio... who cares about some privileged blondie who threw her life away to do some drugs? It’s pathetic how she got a $500,000 book advance when there are more talented writers working in day jobs and trying to send out unsolicited emails to publishers during their free time. I read her stuff on xoJane and she’s…