I won’t let you question yourself...as a wise woman once said, “you’re more beautiful than Cinderella...you smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine.”

It’s actually her dog’s name! (She is a friend of a friend and I met her dog once, I met her too but mostly hung out with her dog)

Weirdly, hiring an undocumented nanny/not paying taxes on a nanny have been disqualifying factors for cabinet/administration appointees for the past 5 administrations, but not this one.

Your guide to Trump’s Amerikkka;

“Hello? Yes, this is the Owner of the Forest Lake Country Club. I need a black. What do you mean a black what? Look, I don’t have time for games, just send me the finest quality black you can. I need to put a black in my club so the PC heat can die down and we can golf in peace without harassment from the coloreds.

Country clubs suck and the food is mediocre. I’m glad they’re dying.

I’m just hoping she starts her set with this one!

Re. Lady Gaga:

Cheeto dress, duh.

This year she’s wearing “address”.

Where’s the Kool Aid guy when Lea Michelle needs him? Can’t he see she’s thirsty as hell.

I put all mine in the pool before the last hurricane to keep it from blowing away.

When in the hell are we going to get Trump on a 5150 already?

I have a somewhat irrational dislike for Lea Michele...

I sing the Weird Al version in my head* when it comes on at the gym. And remember he still owes Marvin Gaye’s family money.

This made me cackle. Also, I thought I was the only person left who call people chodes.

Another story of entitled, unsuccessful, talentless, fraudulent, abusive white fucks getting a pass in society.

Much to my chagrin, my spinning teacher would include Blurred Lines in the class music and I would spin out my energy focused on karma hitting this pathetic mother fucker for his “success” from a misogynistic, pro rape, stolen from Marvin Gaye, artistically corrupt,  and just gross, song.

I very much believe every bit about Robin Thicke. He’s a real chode. I hope someone shaves his head. It doesn’t sound like much, but you just know he would fucking die inside.