The next article on Jezebel is called “A Collection of Caroline Cruz’s Most Embittered Expressions”.

I have a 10 year old brother and I occasionally watch those shows and am filled with rage the entire time. Just so awful.

The Creepy Connie episodes of Jessie are shown, like, 12 times a day. It’s so fucking weird.

That’s interesting, I’ve noticed this abysmal trend in the cartoons my kids watch (I make them stop watching the ones in which I observe it). Example, the reboot of Scooby Doo, where now for some reason Daphne’s madly in love with oblivious Fred and Velma’s madly in love with oblivious Shaggy. Why? Why? Why? How is…

I read something once that said “if Demi Lovato weren’t famous, she’d be that Sephora manager who needs an attitude adjustment” and I just...I haven’t been able to get over such a perfect way to describe her.

Right, as if little girls need more people telling them they need to boy crazy, ditzy, obsessed with shopping and clothes, and covered in makeup and hair extensions.

It’s the royal myself. Just like how you all are royally screwed.

Starred and responded all at once...

You know nothing, HBO

Is this a joke?

Moreover, vibration sensors in the bedsprings can pick up the duration of said usage, the intensity and the “impact per minute”

What’s a diorama?

Which is why I greet the dog with a curt, yet friendly, “Dog” and a nod. If they’ve been an especially good dog, I offer them a firm handshake and no less than three shakes...but no more than five because I’m not a psychopath.

I do like throwing it.

What if I told you the only reason your dog keeps bringing that ball back to you is because he/she thinks you really like throwing it?

Screw my dog. She licks me when she damn well likes and I show plenty of signs I don’t like it.

I miss psych more than any other show i can think off...and how often did you not get enough of a show that went for 7 seasons (of the top of my head). The little (and not so little) digs they made at The Mentalist were a favorite of mine...