Well, seeing the future isn’t necessarily the same as making it happen, is it? What with free will and all.

Ah yes, the Nerf Herder defense, classic deflective strategy.

I don’t have a dog. Am I screwed?

Those eyes.

And now that song will be lodged in my brain for the next twenty-four hours.

Good point, but denial is a helluva drug; easily the most popular drug in American history. And nobody is more hooked on it than our peace officers. Every one of them was thinking, “It’s cool; we’ll get away with this. We always do. We always win.”

Trump’s running mate has finally emerged.

Do you remember the old Incredible Hulk TV show? Specifically the scene where Bixby transforms into Ferrigno for the first time, and trashes his own car in the rainstorm?

I have a sinking feeling -as the establishment’s war on us drags on- we’ll learn that PEDs are pretty much standard issue in police departments.

Fairly sure he’ll lose his service weapon in that instance, but I don’t doubt for an instant he has a dozen more just like it at home.

Good policy; sensible, easy to remember.

I’m seeing a lot of poorly constructed, confederate flag-themed crap for sale on EBay in his future. Y’know, art.

Well, the ones who lived, anyway.

Or that it made direct and intentional eye contact with him.

Or most likely precognitive.

He should also lose his right to bear arms. And by that, I mean I want his actual arms amputated, at the shoulder; I’d feel safer knowing he had to get by with prostheses incapable of wielding anything more dangerous than a tennis ball.

Poor kid; at least she only had one shadow to worry about!

I heard somewhere that they had to edit out a scene from I Saw The Light where Robert Johnson grabs Hank by the ankle and slams him into the floor over and over again.

Here’s hoping that response begins with “Hell no,” and ends with something along the lines of “and the horse you rode in on.”

I’m sorry pal, but I’ve got nothin’.