Trust me, that’s totally true. I’m 64 and definitely out of fucks to give.*

Once again proving my theory that once you’ve gone over the hill, all the fucks you had to give are gone as well.

White privilege is having agents of the state and a presidential candidate protect you despite being an incestuous child rapist. Imagine if this dude wasn’t a white guy. It’s truly baffling so many people are unwilling/unable to have a modicum of empathy for people like Tamir Rice but are more than willing to defend…

I used to not believe in freemason conspiracies

Considering the cops arrested Kevin Moore, who filmed the Freddie Gray arrest yesterday, it seems clear they want to make sure there are no witnesses to any of their actions. Their arrest of Kevin Moore was pure intimidation, plain and simple. Cops are pissed right now that 6 of their own are being charged.

I just wanted to participate in/witness actual discourse. Not jokes about the Kardashians or dudes who clearly hadn’t watched the interview. Discourse reflecting the fact that an icon of masculinity - an Olympian AND a decathlete - is a transperson. And that this individual is navigating a liminal space in transition,…

As a religious dude myself, I always sort of figured that the “made in God’s image” clause was more about our souls rather than our physical bodies. I’m not entirely sure. Oh well. I’ll just live the best life I can, be nice to others, and then if I ever get to meet Him I’ll ask for clarification.

Sorry everyone. I went through 7 (YES, SEVEN) whole pages of Perez Hilton's website combing for possible answers, and nothing fits.

Well, I can tell you that the next big global pandemic is already out there, waiting for just the slightest nudge in conditions to break out in multiple areas of the world. It is almost certainly the result of human-animal interface, i.e. zoonotic in nature. It's almost impossible to predict the 'spillover' point,…

Sweet. Maybe now my "Bring Back the Beak" campaign for PPE will finally get some traction.

How dare you menstruate, vile woman! Do you know what a pain it is to wash all your bloody underwear every month? If you plugged it up with Kotex, we wouldn't be having this problem at all.

Just how venomous are they? I don't mind dying from something called Skeletorus, but being killed by Sparklemuffin is just insulting.

Here is another spider for you to meet.

I had to drop off my sons lunchbox once and I had clothes instead of my superman pajamas and the secretary at the school was like 'oh you have clothes?' My response was 'oh, you waxed your mustache and died your roots?' She hasn't said anything again. Just sayin. I'm not the one.

OK, first, giant LOLZ at "insufferable raisin"

I'm gonna be THAT person—

"Is this what aging feels like? How soon before I start shooing children off my lawn and squeezing my guinea pigs just a little too tight when I dress them in their little outfits?"