I definitely feel the onus of providing for the picky kid falls to the parent, not the host, when attending a dinner party. They should bring something to serve their child that isn’t going to make more work for the host or interrupt the flow their dinner prep, like something in a container they can ask to microwave…

Ok Jalops, let’s address the elephant in the room: TIMING CHAIN GUIDES. B7 RS4s have updated metal tensioners that were not present in the earlier S4s (B6/7). In other words, let’s not comment about “OMG TIMING CHAINS AHHHHH !!” This is a total bad-ass car on the used market, especially If you want a vehicle that can…

Lighten up, Francis.

I dunno, this is all I got. 

Used car that’s already gone top speed racing? CP, never buy someone else’s project.

Two Places Too Quiet.

Instead, Ford only gave me the ability to honk, despite my exorbitant base price of around $500,000. A car should be able to do much more than honk for that amount of money, but alas, I could only honk in protest of that notion.

So much for being grounded to the ground

Oh... my... God... Becky. Look at those wheels! They are so... big, it looks like one of those rap guys’ cars. But ya know, who understand those rap guys? They only drive them because, they need to fit more prostitutes, ‘kay? I mean, those wheels are so big. I can’t believe they are just so round, they are like out…

I want to see the AWS StatCast numbers for exit speed and launch angle.

May I suggest a new Deadspin mascott, Sticky; The Stick-to-Sports Stick. Sticky lives in Jim Spanfeller’s butt.

Elway was always good with the long game.

This leads us to one question....is Joe Flacco an elite backup quarterback?

All of the refs have been god-fucking-awful at this all year. If there’s even a shadow of a chance it’s a fumble/Interception that leads to a score, they’re supposed to let it go because the scoring play is going to get reviewed anyway. They’ve been blowing them dead all year long and it’s infuriating. 

Can you guys ask the venture capitalists to make articles take up less space? It’s kind of hard for me to watch both of the “recent videos” that started playing in two separate places when I’ve got four or five lines of text distracting me.

Joe Westworld

Love the Toronto fan reaction:

What’s important to me is being able to open an article in Jalopnik without a video autoplaying.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”