Isn’t the whole point that everyone asks him something?

when a robot meets a robot, comin thro’ the rye

Mr heavy bags under the eyes, meet Ms heavy bags under the eyes

look at this tho.

I have taken seven Facebook quizzes just this past weekend. Secretary of Education, plz.

If you can decorate, you can be minister of interior .

Wait, you buy things...?

I think they should consider me for Secretary of State. I haven’t actually been out of the country, but I did have a passport (it expired, sad!). I have also watched a number of TV shows and movies set in other countries. I also learned German in high school (I’ve forgotten most of it).

I use money to buy things. Can I run a bank do you think?

Although I don’t have a medical degree and am a man, I’ve decided to pursue a head OB/GYN role since I spent the most formative parts of my life in utero. You’re an inspiration to us all, Dr. Carson.

“We don’t have confirmation that Secretary Kerry spent the remainder of Sunday in a dark room, sobbing as “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” played on loop”

Most are big; none are beautiful; very few are women.

I have the exact opposite reaction to Casey Affleck.

I listened to Kenneth Lonergan get interviewed on Fresh Air on Wednesday and thought I’d rather spork myself in the eye than go see a movie about a sad emotionally repressed asshole white dude.

Great, another entry in the White Ethnic Miserablist Canon that I can happily avoid. I hope Moonlight wins every goddamn thing.

I look forward to these every year. 2015's mashup is still my favorite; there was something so triumphant about that piece of music. 2016 is a little frenzied, but it works for the tone of this garbage dump of a year.

Yeah, but he makes it look good. Trump makes clothes costing 10x more look bad. Trump and Obama buy suits from the same tailor many times, but you know, Obama has class and style while Trump looks like he raided his dad’s closet.

My friend got married a few months ago. She asked what her hashtag should be for her (C name) and fiancé (also c name). BOOM. #C&CWeddingFactory. Sadly, she declined.

Come sit by me, friend.

I think you meant Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower, Octavia Spencer is an actor.