Closely related to many of these - follow @wxdam on Twitter.

I’d love to just be able to watch my favorite home team’s games on MLB TV, not blacked out, not region locked, not have to move elsewhere to watch them, and not have to watch on local cable. I am a cord cutter, and it amazes me that MLB cannot get with the times and just let people watch your team wherever you are.…

“women control their bodies, not the government”

The Baseball Hall of Fame voters are equally insular and moronic (and maybe, kinda, sorta racist). Last year, Deadspin bought the vote of a member of the nominating committee. I would LOVE to see Gawker media do that for an Academy voter. It’s time to obliterate these nasty old institutions of taste making.

Still coerced into buying cable if you want to watch any games from the team in your own market.

Man, I loved this. All I can say is that the final section reminded me of a Barthelme quote.

Before people come down here to be like "Ew why would you eat there? Chipotle isn't even real Mexican" like it hasn't been said on literally every other article about Chipotle: I live in San Diego, am an actual Mexican and I think Chipotle is fucking DELICIOUS. I acknowledge it isn't "authentic", but if I took pause…

Yeah, but I would say if you were governor or mayor, you probably gained a lot of those skills AND have a decent understanding of how government works.

I was only a wee Bells in the 70's, but I do have this glorious fashion moment from my aunt’s wedding immortalized:

Old school pun time.

“was it raped”

Why would they google something that appears to be self-explanatory? It’s amusing to me that people think cultural references are universal and not at all esoteric.

Golf channel, man.

HERE FOR THE HOT TAKES

My dad was in the military, so I grew up around military people. One thing I learned is that the more someone in the service brags, the less impressive their actual career is.

I felt forced to pick Starbucks, much like IRL.

Wait I know this one! They run into a vegan, right?