“I’m just telling you what my childhood was like. Not my childhood, but someone else’s.”

Krasinski + Colbert. Would, so hard.

Krasinski and Colbert - just frame it

The African Americans who’ve won Oscars, and the role they played.

Hattie McDaniel - a slave

Give me a line Vashilly, One line only pleash.

The Bump for Red October

#whitesagainstfullerhouse

WHITE PEOPLE PLEASE COME GATHER THESE LADIES.

I remember poring over this add as a kid and imagining my glamorous life with each and every one of these phones. That high tech space phone on the lower left will be used by my personal assistant when I am a famous member of the cast of The Sonny and Cher Show! The olde timey ones throughout my mansion but Mickey in…

Why does every bloody website insist on using slideshows to show off information nowadays?? What happened to a good old list?!

My Dad, brother and I will be watching Deadwood together. Those that doubt me, suck cock by choice!!

I meant Yoda.

Most airports I’ve travelled through have functioning, clean drinking fountains. I carry an empty bottle through security, and spend my $5 on something else besides water.

Also, if it is “their” “Peppermint Bark,” how can there be a “sugg.” of $14.00 but ooooooh “our price” is $12.59! Fred in accounting is like “we need to charge $14 for these 4.8 oz of generic chocolate we haphazardly sprinkled with candy cane rejects,” but Sherry in merchandising is like “FUCK THAT, FRED! GIVE THE…

Or you could just, I don’t know, say “no thanks” like a grownup. Or if you want to be diplomatic, “I appreciate the invite, but I can’t make it.” You don’t need excuses, or a reason (unless it’s your mother). No one (except your mother) is going to be offended that you can’t make it.

Every so often, Jezebel and Gawker have these long articles that are written in this real knowing way about concepts and situations and terms that are completely meaningless to me, and they always make me feel like I’m either A) 1000 years old or B) getting punked. Or maybe both. Can someone tell me if this article is…

Strangulation is a huge danger indicator in domestic violence situations. Victims of one episode of strangulation are 7 times more likely to become a homicide victim at the hands of the same partner. Manual or ligature strangulation is “lethal force” and is one of the best predictors of a future homicide in domestic…

Well, you know Bobby, if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. So I’m just going to love, laugh, and learn from this, and just keep calm and carry on, because you can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

Oh. I thought you were talking about Mr. Worldwide.