thank you, i needed this

oh my god, this explains so much. my ex and i had gotten a new tv and everything looked exactly like you said, like a soap opera. i haaaaated it. he thought i was being ridiculous, and this suddenly explains what was going on. i suddenly feel 0.001% less crazy.

it’s bc of all those magazines and their HOT TIPS

you look burnt...or dead.

fucking preach. my boss tries to ignore when i mention casually about something that happened while i was doing my ‘side gig’ (can i just say how much i hate that ‘side gig’ is a phrase spoken so cavalierly that it normalizes people needing to work a second job, btw? for fuck’s sake, maybe PAY us enough at our first…

how the hell did she even get out of the walmart with that? i can’t go to one and buy a damn toothbrush without the guy at the door asking to see my receipt.

my pre-adolescent, sleepover-having self is kind of upset over this. now my memories will taste different.

well, they did say they have the meats, so, i guess a little variety of protein is on brand, right?

i too choose to believe she toppled the barn.

no long weekend or spring/summer playlist of mine will ever not include ‘cold beverage’ by g love and special sauce. maybe predictable but dammit, try telling me it’s not perfect. 

i feel this in my soul.  

the honest impression i get from this dress thing is if i were wearing my larger significant other’s shirt real quick to go grab something out of the fridge bc it’s cold but i don’t want to put on my clothes obviously, and on the way by the door the handle snagged the back of said shirt bc i didn’t realize how big and…

i’m trying to picture parsing this sentence ten years ago and having no idea what the hell it means, thinking maybe something along the lines of an ice cream sandwich company seth rogen founded that makes southern people say it’s delicious? knowing it means ‘dude got hot’ is less fun. i want ice cream sandwiches is…

huh. i’ve had bacon chocolate before but never one with potato chips, though i like a good chocolate-covered chip. it sounds like it could be good.

that sounds effing delightful and i’m suddenly disappointed in whatever my dinner is going to be.

hold up. you’re gonna post that pic from the hammond’s chocolate booth and tell us you didn’t try (or at least not give a description of) the pigs n’ taters flavor? i’m guessing that’s bacon and potato chips but i mean, i need answers.

i am with you on this one- tiny handers unite! just bc my hands are dainty doesn’t mean the rest of me is and/or that i can’t mow down a burrito that requires mug handling!

i think this is the third week in a row i’m going with allison bc apparently we are on the same wavelength when it comes to tasty delicious food. kate and kevin had some strong picks with cheeseburgers/fried chicken and chicken thighs/lamb ribs respectively, but the baked beans/german potato salad and macaroni…

that actually sounds like a fun way to do trivia. 

i dunno, anthony bourdain sure seemed to hate the fuck out of him - i enjoy them both but their rivalry never failed to crack me up. but yeah, i think in general it was just a thing to dunk on him and not outright hate him.