Or is he the master of his own writing? Nudge nudge.

I'm not even going to speak to the hatefulness of this shit here. Clearly, that's obvious to anyone with half a fucking brain.

Wait. Are you saying he is NOT a rapper?

POTATOE.

I love a cheesy joke.....mostly because we're one salsa quip away from huevos rancheros.

"...I'd found VC Andrews at the library..."

That sounds awful! (I had no idea that was how those worked. I just learned something new!)

I still remember being maybe six years old and getting the talk from my mom. Somehow, despite her being incredibly blunt about things, for several years on I thought that a man boiled his garden-grown mystery seed in some kind of clear broth for his lady to drink. And, boom. Baby.

I was gonna say....

On my phone, without my glasses, that picture looks like some poor lady had an accident with Jujyfruits at her local movie theatre.

It's always the phones with the dick humor! I got a new phone recently and it wanted to autocorrect "wink" to "whang". That's not random. That's sabotage.

Is that what those badges are for??

Bollocks! Dammit, Celia. It's bollocks.

All the people who think Tory Burch is too expensive.

It's priced about the same as life-saving medication, so in that respect.....RIM SHOT!

Ummmm, Eichner? I think it's worse than that. If you don't like Troop Beverly Hills, you don't like Girl Scouts. And by association, their cookies.

Mah mahn ess frrum yer homelaand. Result: I cannae unnerstann a WERRD.

Spanx roll down on everyone. Even that cartoon lady on the front of the carton. The minute your back is turned, whoosh, flop.

With. Pliers?

I second those two brands. And also suggest Freya. Very hard to find British brand, but Nordstroms does stock them occasionally (with a better selection in bigger stores than online.)