BREAKING: COMBAT SPORTS ATTRACT AGGRESSIVE INDIVIDUALS

Watch me whip, watch me meme

My fantasy team stinks.

I can see Watt obsessively reading every article about himself.

Now that the Cowboys have all their weapons back on the field, there might finally be some room to sit down on Greg Hardy’s futon.

To be fair, that was easily the most offensive thing she’s ever seen at a Titans game.

Translation: The Showboating Black Man Burned My Daughters Eyes With His Black Dancing Acid.

I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

Sounds like the kid has a future in the league office

There has to be someone affiliated with Deadspin that can pull off the mannerisms and affectations of an adolescent attendee.

That’s ridiculous, but why would you want to go listen to Greg Hardy speak anyway?

Any QB who can go 8 - 1 with that schedule is incredible.

I don’t hear Rodgers defending Norwegians when fans chant “VIKINGS SUCK”!

Oh nice, you read the article, too? That’s great

I guess Aqib Talib can join Peyton Manning and Jason Pierre Paul on the list of athletes who have no idea what the ends of their fingers are doing.

The sex stuff this new generation is doing is out of control. Eye play?! That’s dangerous. Someone could go blind. In my day, the only kinky thing we did was watch The Mary Tyler Moore Show while making whoopie on the sofa. If you looked at the screen at the wrong time, sure, you’d climax to Ed Asner, but the worst…

Sick of hearing professional athletes brag about their extravagant lifestyles and 18-passenger cars.

I’m just hoping they can come to some sort of Missouri Compromise eventually

You know you fucked up when Philadelphia has the moral high ground