I was around 20 or so when this song came out, so I can't speak to the kids who wanted to be her.

Let's see....when did her first book come out? Maybe 97 or 98? If you worked in Borders in the greater Los Angeles during that year or two, then yeah, that was me. Apologies.

So far my product trolling has been turning Ann Coulter books front to back on the shelves but I think this is a great bit of harmless meddling!

The one about the father working at the same company and not believe their own child is heartbreaking.

No worries. :)

See that?! My work is done. I can now crumble into dust.

I lied.

I believe they're called "wine" right now.

But I don't have an attic!

Wow. I really didn't think I was going to have to explain that my comment was a sarcastic comeback to the idea that surrogacy should be banned and that women who are surrogates aren't smart enough to know what they're doing with their own bodies.

"Especially not if I was famous and had access to hotter dudes."

I agree. How do we know the invisible person isn't getting popcorn or parking the car or something?

This a huge pet peeve of mine.

I think this was pretty much an accurate re-telling of this entire film. Though, I do think the Bubba Gump crustacean-based soliloquy must be seen rather than read to be appreciated in full.

I can agree with that. That's true.

I have nothing to add....but that is a very cute dog face.

"I thought this was a feminist website."

I know there's a million of these "weird" stories out there. But for some reason, this just makes me really sad.

When she was a child star, she was incredibly relevant. Just look at that face!

I think she already has! God, you let someone down today.