I seriously cannot understand why zendaya is photoshopped ever. Her original pictures always look so perfect that you’d think those were the photoshopped ones. she’s gorgeous and has such a banging bod.

I know, right? Meanwhile the Elsa costume comes with free crutches, all for $20!

so, you were... raisin hell, that night, huh?

Because there’s always money in the banana costume.

Few things are more annoying than whiny little turds who won’t eat anything other than nuggets. Maybe the parents that enable them...

What is that? If you don't mind me asking?

I’ve been cared for by probably no fewer than 100 nurses and the worst I can come up with is “brusque”. They’ve been more likely to kill me with kindness than any other way. I’ve had them come and sit with me, do mini-makeovers, gone through September’s Vogue with them. Met kids. Talked about boyfriends and husbands…

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

Well this is a story of my grandfather at a moment of great family sadness and pain.

For example, “I got herpes from an ex who told me they were clean”

My BFF at a small company where it was realized one of the women was in a domestic violence situation when her BF became unstable and would wait outside for her at work, etc.

I am simultaneously happy and sad for your sister and her new lil munchkin. I’m sending bunches of good vibes y’all’s way.

I suppose.

My mother was very prepared for my very first day of school - I was 4 years old - in all particulars but one: colouring pencils. She showed me my pencilcase with pencil, eraser, ruler, and one solitary red colouring pencil, and carefully explained that I was supposed to have colouring pencils, but there was only one.…

I used to teach elementary art in a really low-income school district near Denver. One student, Franklin, was a third-grader who was homeless and living in a car with his mother at the time. The district and social services were aware and helping as much as possible, but mom was hard to work with due to some ongoing…

When I go running, I fart. A lot. Normally I am running by myself so I just let them rip without shame, or until I am at least far enough away from the person running past me to claim a smelt it dealt it situation. So one night I had gone for a 5 mile jog at this park near my house (shout out to Green Lake) and I…

Well I doubt there are many people in the developed world nursing until 7 years because of the cultural stigma and the logistics of maintaining a supply, but it would probably be useful in areas that suffer regular famine and drought.

I’ve noticed that Dilbert doesn’t quite resonate with people who don’t work office jobs, or work in office jobs that are well-run and/or not quite as stuffy.

After we saw this pic, we started calling our son Lord Voldemort. (This is 17 weeks. The one at 21 was actually cute. We have one pic of him making a pout in utero that he makes to this day.)