Awfully tender writing for a guy who can’t describe how to make hummus without using the word “Fuck” a dozen times. Nice job.

Jesus, who let Klosterman write for Deadspin?

Why so much cream cheese love when clearly sour cream is the correct substitute for milk. Nobody puts cream cheese on a baked potato. Sour cream = magic

Substitute sour cream for milk = magic.

Substitute sour cream for glugs of milk= magic.