To paraphrase someone much smarter than me:

Or you could buy your ticket and thank Marvel for being the only studio with the guts to develop and invest in a project like this.

Anybody who doesn’t think strangulation is serious has never seen the photo of Nigella Lawson being strangled by her ex-husband (Saatchi). It’s horrifying. The look on her face of powerlessness.

This is bananas and I’m here for it. Someone get this man an XM station and a podcast.

My money’s on: she did get a flu shot. For me/not for thee.

Childless implies a loss. For those of us who never want children, trust me: we’re not sitting here agonizing over it. It’s no loss.

I watched the clip and it quite honestly brought tears to my eyes. His horror and rage and frustration was so damn raw. I just can’t even imagine how he feels.

She looks like she sells Younique.

If crazy had a make-up pallette, she is wearing its starter kit.

As a straight man - no, no you do not need to watch your man around her. She looks like one of the Who’s from the Jim Carey Grinch movie with a really bad Botox injection.

Can anyone explain to me why this memo is important and why the fuck I should care? I keep reading stuff about it but it seems....vague and confusing

US version

Service animals and emotional support animals are not the same.

Let me tell you something, if I get onto a plane, and there is a goddamn peacock roaming freely around the cabin, I. AM. OUT. I do NOT like birds, and there is no way that I’m going to be trapped in a metal tube with one for hours on end. Nope. No way. And peacocks can be particularly aggressive assholes, so double no…

I have discovered a cure for depression that doesn’t involve narcotics

Products aren’t “Black” even if mostly black people use them. 

i pray to the dark lord that it’s Barron, taking his shitheel pops out from the inside

I know I’m going to sound like a Debbie Downer here but... does any of this matter anymore? I have full confidence Mueller can nail Trump’s ass to the wall - but only in a way that a reasonable person will accept. The House Republicans have already fabricated enough shit to feed their base into believing the FBI is…

Today, we are all this manatee:

As somebody with a compromised immune system, I nicely ask for you to not kill me and please get your shot. <3