It came from me saying to him and his sister, "You can eat ___ or you can always choose starvation," when asked what's for dinner. As it turns out, every child doesn't like every meal served by their parents. I just recall the way my parents handled us when we were kids, so I chose a different route.

Yep, that was the rule around here, as well. I always asked Kidlet to at least try a new food, which he did eagerly enough, but when it came to dinner as a whole, if he decided he wasn’t eating, then absent any particular exceptions like sickness, then that was it. I tried to make sure the main dish was either one I…

I was very lucky that my mom is an excellent cook, because that and baking are her hobbies! The one thing we always had were home-made cookies and desserts. She would go on and on about how cheap it was to bake your own food if you just have the staples.

Or they won’t! Which is fine when they’re a school-age kid who is perfectly capable of making themselves a sandwich or managing their hunger until the next meal, much less so if they’re a toddler who hasn’t made the connection between not eating and mood yet, or if it’s a kid who is neurodivergent.

I make a menu before I go to the grocery store every Saturday and we designate a few nights as burgers or take-out. My kid and husband sit down and offer suggestions for dinners. It’s unusual for anyone to be surprised by what we’re having on any given night.

I grew up in the 70s with a single mom (only divorced mom in our neighborhood) who taught public school and her take on dinner was life is too short and too difficult not to have what you want if it’s fairly easy to do. It was not unusual for us to head for take-out and go to 2-3 places to get what we wanted at each.…

Precisely. There is actually a good lesson here the father could have taught. Show her the can opener and ask her to use it. Observe her. Ask her questions like goddamn Socrates; “what do you think the handle is for?” “What turns inside the opener when you turn the handle?” “How would you have to put the can open to…

Food is a basic need and hunger messes you up. If a kid perceives that they’re being punished or harassed over being hungry, it’s not harmless. My mother had strict rules about portions and when it was ok to eat. There is a real desire and shame dance in my head about food to this day that is unhealthy and directly…

Ditto. Her posts are so beautiful. Tiny Human lives the life all children should live.

He’s the same kind of guy that complains about how his daughter is growing up to be a real bitch just like her mom. 

I’ll up your anecdotal evidence with my own: dinner refusal is often because the child doesn’t like the food.

That sounds so... reasonable! 

Yep. My wife had the crap beaten out of her by her dad on a regular basis. My dad did the kind of shady shit this asshole seems so proud of. My wife’s verdict is that at least she knew what was happening to her was wrong while I was supposed to admire my sperm donor for his cleverness.

Hmmm. I make my 7 year old do his own laundry. He’s in 2nd grade. It’s really not that hard. Put laundry in, add soap, push button. Move it to the drier and push another button. Shove clothes into drawer. He doesn’t generate that much laundry, and we have an indoor laundry room.  Also, if he needs help, I’m there. My…

Everyone needs to learn the skills. But you don’t do it by throwing the kid off into the deep end without direction. You’re not just teaching the skills, you’re teaching self-worth and self-confidence. You understand that. It comes through when you post about your tiny human. I woulda done anything to have a mom like…

I feel you! I work in a library and this is a pet peeve that I’m having to learn to swallow.

Ug. I’m so sorry that was your experience. I went through something similar but no that severe. I had a mother who insisted that the best thing she could do for me was to teach me how to take care of myself. She went back to work when I was in first grade and showed me how to do my own laundry. She helped me the first…

Why didn’t she already know how to use a can opener? Do they not have milk and cereal in the house and does she not know how to combine those?

Ah I grew up in a dictionary and encyclopedia house too, and now one of my greatest pet peeves is other adults asking me something they could easily solve themselves (I just had a colleague email me asking for the journal name for an article they had the full name, date and authorship for. I did not respond).