I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

Sucker punch and then the hop back/runaway. What a bitch move.

I recently took my dad to see Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band and even at 92 years old (or whatever) he still rocked. He should be, like, No. 40 or something.

It looks upset with you because you ate the last slice of pizza. 

So everybody in Editorial is mad about this too. Besides the fact that it looks terrible, we have to actually work in Kinja all day long.

“I am a progressive and charitable member of the community” - Harvey Weinstein Jeffrey Epstein Brandon Taubman

This is more embarrassing than my unintentional smear campaign against Sports Illustrated when Kathy Ireland was on the cover.

Now starting at Left Tackle...Pierre Delecto.

this is not very encouraging!!!!!!! BE NICER TO ME, A NEW MOM!!!

Well...I guess SOME PEOPLE get to make edits after 15 minutes. Talk about privilege.

Well, it works if you consider small ball getting as few hits and runs as possible.

If you think about it, it’s really the fans’ fault. They just didn’t tomahawk chop hard enough and the players didn’t feel any support.

It speaks volumes about these people that: