Stair daggers would encourage more elevator use.

I take the elevator if I have to fart because I am a bad person.

The rest of Nash’s body will be used to study the effects of DDP.

How many Cuban sandwiches in that pig?

Ahh... I see that your wife quietly walked up behind you mid-way through your post.

I hope you can see this, because I’m +1'ing you as hard as I can.

That’s really interesting! I’ve never heard crushes described in such a mundane way. It was hard to imagine how people functioned on a daily basis if they got crushes “all the time” in the way they’re depicted in fictional media; “positive acquaintanceship plus a little something extra that I don’t experience” is a…

This guy?

A crush doesn’t need to be significant, it doesn’t need to serve as the launchpad for existential crisis or further analysis. Crushes are meant to be simple and fleeting. The best crushes revolve around very limited interaction with someone who has the same sense of humor as you do—a brief, mutual understanding of…

Hey, great arguments! Very convincing.

Hey, the game is not for you. And that’s okay. Nobody says you have to like it. If you look at a tape of one of the most incredible saves a goalie will ever make and say ‘This is everything wrong with hockey’ then the game is not for you. May I suggest golf? It has a much slower pace and it’s pretty easy to tell…

Someone cod’ve helped a little.

Honestly, there is no excuse. I was emotionally leveled for two years after I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me, from a butt dial no less. I felt lower than dirt and couldn't even talk to women let alone have another relationship. I can't imagine ever doing that to someone, especially someone I'm in a…

I think it is rare that someone is driving through Mississippi drinking a beer is not already well over the .08 limit

I believe Indiana used to allow this as well. I remember going on a road trip in college from WI to PA and all of the non-drivers cracking beers as soon as we passed from IL into IN.

bird law?

Creating a root beer sounds like a pretty wild pursuit for Harmon Killebrew, who once named washing dishes as a hobby.

I believe Area 51 exists and we have UFOs there.