I am also originally from DFW, and informed the crew it would not be the greatest idea to party in Arlington.  The next night we went and partied with the college kids near TCU, and that was a far more enjoyable experience.

We went to Redneck Heaven in Arlington, TX (a horrifically bad “breastaurant”) after drinking all day at a Rangers game for a bachelor party. One of the scantily clad waitresses approached us and said she used to be a stripper, and was still willing to strip privately for bachelor parties. We told her “No thank you”…

I was just finishing middle school when this movie came out but the comparable movie craze for me was when The Fast and the Furious came out, and every shithead with a Honda Civic had to get clear lights and a big ass muffler on their car.  Fuck you Vin Diesel.

Well at least we can confirm that craft beer makers and “aficionados” are mostly overly sensitive and incredibly insufferable. I was worried we had forgotten that!

I split my eyebrow open as a kid and got FIVE stitches and I still have a pretty gnarly scar.  My doctor must not have had a deft hand D:

I mean....maybe? I’m also married to a Packers fan, so I guess we got that going for us. Solidarity my dude, even if we don’t root for the same squad.

I’m a Vikings fan and I wanted both teams to lose, but in a pinch, I would have been fine with the Bears winning that one.  We’ll avenge you next Sunday.

Oh yeah I was HUGE into WoW back in the day and played it relentlessly from release until about 2007 or so. I did miss a lot of the expansions and major changes that they made, and I found toxicity to be very minimum at that time. Maybe during the years I was off the sauce it got a lot worse? I dunno, once again this…

I absolutely refuse to play online games with random people these days. I used to love doing that because toxicity was rare, now everyone is a toxic shithead online. I would love to fire up Overwatch and play games with randoms in quick play but it’s just a flood of people acting like they are about to be eSports…

I honestly used to feel this way, especially because I was engaged to another woman when I was in my early 20's, it ended very poorly, and I spiraled emotionally for a while. But then I met my wife, got married, and we live a damn happy life together. My ex contacted me on Facebook after my father died earlier this…

This is me, although at my job it’s more like “Hey man here’s a whole bunch of shit that should keep you pretty busy for a while!” which I then proceed to finish in about 2 hours.  Then it’s internet time baby!

He won’t. He’s going to focus on the illegal immigrant who killed the girl in Iowa. We can revel in the news of the fraud confessions and convictions, but Trump’s base doesn’t care about that. They don’t want brown folks in America and this is their fuel:

I grew up in Dallas during the pinnacle of the Cowboys, 1989-1996. In 1993 my best friend invited me to sit in a suite for a Cowboys game for his birthday, the first NFL game I had ever attended, courtesy of his wealthy step-dad. After the game we went to Jimmy fucking Johnson’s HOUSE so his parents could have…

It’s in the same family as “I don’t mean to sound racist...”.  

I was in Oregon earlier this year supporting my family as my dad was in hospice care after years of being ill. Not trying to be crass or insensitive here (and I think anyone who has witnessed a close family member in hospice care can relate anyway), but my Dad finally went into a very deep coma for the most part, and…

All the Musk cultists who brigade any article that posts anything even slightly negative against the man and his endeavors.  

We did the next day, but we couldn’t remember which house it was.  We were pretty damn stoned.

Unbelievable story: in college two of my friends and I got really high (too young for the bars, nobody older around to buy us booze that night) and wandered around campus, eating at various food joints. We were walking down a street to get back home to pass out, and we heard noise coming from a garage. Thinking it was…

I can only think “Red Rocket” when I hear Andy Dalton’s lame nickname, which is apropos because Dalton is total dog-dick at his job.  I don’t know what that means, but it seems disparaging and that’s how it should be.

Scott Conant called me a loser and blocked me on Twitter for making a joke about my own ineptitude at cooking pasta, and I was actually a fan of his (and really enjoyed his pasta place at the Fontainebleu in Miami, got to go as part of a work conference). So I dunno, if you’re a celebrity chef, maybe don’t be a dick…