I laughed and then I immediately got sad.

Don't be silly. If men could have babies, they would all be on free birth control!

I really liked 'All About That Bass' when I first heard it. It was good for grooving on my way to work. And then I actually listened to the lyrics and was put off by how the message was basically, "Your body is great because some boy will like it that way!" Not a fan. My body is great because it is mine and it loves…

He's very into politics, where I'm very into making fun of politics.

My friend instituted a commentary ban during the SOTU last night :(

Your mom sound like a real peach. Just like my mom!

Under no circumstances should anyone ever wear coral and mint in the same outfit. I am putting my fucking foot down. That shit is gross. A friend had coral and mint as her wedding colors and it was atrocious.

When I saw her picture in the cast release for 50 Shade of Grey (before I read who she actually was) I was all like, "Why is Rory Gilmore in this movie?" Then I realized that I was mistaken and had absolutely no idea who the woman in the picture was.

Oh, we do. Believe me, we do.

I think those are two different conversations you smushed together there. Girls don't usually ask random guys to do romantic things for them. Not a single one of these stories had a girl asking for the attention. The majority of these guys just figured, "If I do this super romantic thing for this girl I've never…

I think that should be Julianne's next article.

Yes, she does. Good call!

YES. One thing that absolutely drives me fucking insane is the radio edit of "Waterfalls." Most radio edits CUT OUT Left Eye's rap. What's the fucking point of even playing the fucking song if you're not going to include the fucking rap? For fucks sake. I mentioned this heinous blasphemy to a friend of mine, and she…

Mel Gibson knows what women want, and they want Mel Gibson!

I think it's because they feel bad for not giving any of Anderson's other films anything. Like I said, I thought GBH was fine. I enjoyed it as "Wes Anderson original," but didn't think it was going to pull too many major awards, not with heavy hitters like Selma, Gone Girl, and Boyhood in the same year. I seriously…

I know! I made sure I was born white, but completely forgot to also be male and rich! Shame on me.

If you are not allergic, I highly recommend a cat. They are autonomous enough and don't need to be let outside 100 times a day, but they are fluffy and good for snuggling when you need it.

Since you've seen a fair few of the noms, can you recommend any? I saw Grand Budapest and thought it was fine, but not worth 9 nominations. I saw Gone Girl after reading the book and LOVED Rosamund Pike. I'm going to see Selma this weekend. Which others in particular are worth the time?

They should teach fuck in schools instead of Latin. It's a dead language for a reason.

I make most of my movie choices based on what my very conservative uncle likes. He raved about American Sniper, so I know to avoid it like the plague. He hated Gone Girl (which I loved). The only time this formula doesn't work is for superhero movies because we are both huge nerds.