He’s streamlining resources to ensure talent is maximized to enhance the customer experience.

NOTE: all babies look the same.

During that same trip to NYC, they early on befriended a bartender who had dreams of performing on Broadway.

This is your friendly neighborhood physician reminding you that if you’re gonna partake of recreational drugs (and I highly recommend you do!), try to stick with the ones that don’t give myocardial infarctions to people in their 20’s.

I like to imagine when he dies and makes it up to the pearly gates, that’s how St Peter will greet him. “Nigel Barker, noted fashion photographer.”

Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker?

I had a total hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy when I was 30. Does that make me a spree killer or a mass murderer? These are important distinctions, people.

I got pregnant. :(

And again, I disagree with your assessment of what you said. If someone told you, "X thing happened to me the other day," and you said, "Hmm, I've never seen X thing happen. I think that sometimes when people say X thing happens, Y thing is actually what is happening," that is pretty clearly you telling them you…

I've taken to looking at my husband like a madman and telling him he needs to calm down so we can discuss things rationally whenever he starts getting upset or frustrated. The look I get in response is PRICELESS.

THANKS OBOMBA

I will not apologize for that joke.

he is thinking "5th element"

Rosebud Salve is the best lip balm. I have extremely acne prone skin and can't wear a lot of lip gloss/balm because it breaks me out around my mouth, which is horrible. Obviously. I've been wearing this for years and it never breaks me out. It has just a hint of color, but looks pretty natural. It has a bit of…

Rosebud Salve is the best lip balm. I have extremely acne prone skin and can't wear a lot of lip gloss/balm because…

This shouldn't even be up for debate. EOS. Any flavour. I'm partial to honeysuckle honeydew.

This shouldn't even be up for debate. EOS. Any flavour. I'm partial to honeysuckle honeydew.

Burt's Bees has been my go to. There is one part of my lip that cracks and breaks during dry or really cold weather. The crack looks like I've been punch in the lip (and it does bleed if it gets too dry). Started using Burt's and haven't had it happen for an entire year.

Burt's Bees has been my go to. There is one part of my lip that cracks and breaks during dry or really cold weather.…

what the fuck is with old white men and not stealing her necklace and giving it to me

A few years ago I was having some ridiculously intense issues with my uterus, and shed my entire endometrial lining at once when I was in the shower. (at least it seemed that way) It was basically a cast of my uterus. I threw up, played with it a little (the flesh chunk, not the vomit), then took pictures in case…

Ahhh the peanut butter and jelly wipe <3

This sort of scenario.

If you have a top or a dress that ties at the neck in a kind of loose bow it's called a pussy bow. Like a bow around a cat's neck.