I'm going to pretend that the Beverly Crusher doll is your editor and that she tasked you with writing this.

Her character was pretty flimsy in the most recent movie but at least they gave her some lines. I think people wanted her to be like the silent, sexy ninja that Rebecca Romijn was. They're both pretty weak when compared to the intelligent and interesting Mystique in the comics though.

Climate change has really limited how many terrible people we can set adrift on ice floes.

Blatant ageism for sure.

Agreed, and even if your kid does something bratty in public I guarantee you that adults are always more annoying in customer service scenarios. The brattiest kid is nowhere near as bad as the brattiest adults.

I learned that they're part of this "monster girls" trope, so I can get on board with that if I pretend it's some sort of vague feminist statement by men that want to be dominated by powerful monster ladies. Brb, must Tumblr.

MOON RAINBOW LOOM POWER!

Why are slime girls a thing. Why. Please tell me it's because some people have always wanted to fuck these:

I feel like the next ad will zoom out and be a horrifying poster for House of Wax 2.

Male nipples migrate in July.

This is my life motto. Upsize to something a billion times better.

Traditional beauty standards of a genetically engineered marble statue. I don't think we should be mad at Jezebel for accurately pointing out that humans should look like humans. If some people want to believe that a stretch mark is a flaw that's their problem.

She is the kind of person that prefers hash browns to hashtags and we can't really fault her for that.

Kale is good when it's in tiny tiny salad pieces so it doesn't expand in your stomach and slice you apart from the inside like how Inuits hunt polar bears...

whose only purpose is guiding the white girl in her romantic life

would touch his tits fo sho

If Maleficent had a pet ferret it would be named Malfeasance.

I often pit apples and oranges against each other in a juicy battle to the death.

I thought we all forgot :( Who didn't look in to the light?

There's no water, you shoot a stream of terror piss in front of you a la Iceman.