Daenerys is just having a super fun chocolate fondue party.

Just because I use test tubes and Bunsen burners doesn't mean I'm WRONG.

*shakes jowls in confusion* uh buuuh? I thought people only watched the show for Fred's improv. Seth does a decent monologue, of course.

I failed prom the first two times so I had to go again :(

I'm pretty superficial. I love Louis C.K. and I think he's a genius but I would never date or fuck him.

...is now in funeral makeup.

I can only imagine how difficult making a true 'open universe' game would be. Can you imagine being able to hop down to any planet and be able to explore pretty much all of it? And then add dozens more planets, planetoids, asteroids, and phenomena poorly understood by even the most informed scientists... it'd be fun!…

because Japanese desserts are terrible? I guess you only have them once a year.

I assume that most scientists are insufferable cockbags though. I've met two physicists who simply, "don't have time to shower". Hygiene is for dumb people with time to waste.

I would also like that number.

74 degrees Celsius/165 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 seconds tends to destroy all harmful bacteria

You don't really need to clean a kettle. The worst thing that happens is mineral buildup if you have hard water.

I'm so whelmed right now.

I'm not watching the sequel unless they put in a gratuitous Fassbender robot sex scene.

I would cast him in a movie that involved some throbbing.

There are tonnes of pictures of her and Blake Lee together, so they're either friends or they're fucking. She probably hasn't even seen the show.

on top of a grilled Polish sausage that I buy on the sidewalk usually

I like his dangly bit.

It's just too easy to make fun of Bieber. That's our job.