I had a freshly fried churro filled with dulce du leche once. What happened next was painful, pornographic and delicious.

He may not have wanted it to be a celebrity diet food but I have decided that it is. Bananas + nuts = health.

The only thing I didn't nope. I assume you've made his signature fried sandwiches?

I guess I'll stick to being an asexual mayor/sadistic zookeeper in Animal Crossing

Reality can be changed. So can video games. All I want is... both. I want it all and I'll settle for nothing less, ever.

a 3DS XL feels like a console to me (probably because it's so huge) but also because of the lovely 3D visuals and the decent online play. I was playing tonnes of MK7 online until Mario Golf came out... we should get some Kotaku tournaments going.

Looks like she just came back from tea at Anne Rice's house, which I'm okay with.

Stress and suffering are definitely not the same thing.

It's definitely just his crappy thing. I have also faced the one way intimacy laser shield.

It's like in Discworld when Cohen goes on one of his epic adventures. A whole army attacks him, but his job gets easier as his enemies have to climb up a growing mountain of their comrade's corpses.

"...a cacophony of flavours. I couldn't hear myself taste."

I like disposable media thought. I like that I can download a huge TV series and then delete it in its entirety when it's over.

They were definitely trying to corner and stab you with little twig shivs.

I'm becoming a dentist just so I can have a tank full of those as my nightmarish mascots.

I have way too much fun racing online in MK7 so I assume online play for 8 will be a quadrillion times better. That should tide you over for quite a while.

Yeah, the difference is that white men can get away with being mad about everything. I guess it makes sense than an Asian man would direct his rage at Asian women. White Twitterbros wouldn't tolerate them mocking white women, cuz that's THEIR job.

Thank you Kotaku for saving me from my futile attempt at watching a whole Nintendo Direct video.

R.L. Stine understands the universe. I feel a lot better about reading all those books as a kid.

I thought Pinterest was mostly married and/or middle-aged women who are apparently more likely to vote Republican.

Yeah, he's apolitical in his comedy. Whenever he does a political joke it's pretty shallow and he knows how to pander to both sides. I think it's how he makes fun of partisanship.