Boo Elsa. Boo. You don't need that braid to escape a tower of your own design! Let Rapunzel keep it.

Because McDonalds tastes like Sadness, so logically the less you eat the happier you'll be.

You can get away with a whole lot of stabbing on TV these days (The Following). Sounds like this will be the fun kind of slasher.

whatevs, the best drinks are at Fizzle and Pozzik's Speedbarge

Ugh, I need a tell-all book that transcribes the twisted secrets of celebrity wigs.

The best thing about Archer is Porthos. Whyyy was there never an episode in which Porthos was forced to take the helm?

Discount Nope Wearhouse

Remove her from your family forever. Just click the 'Emancipate' button on Facebook.

Don't let the Olds watch HBO or they might remind the rest of us that it's full of crappy programming.

Boring Fact: There's no evidence that bee pollen can be used to treat anything. It has a bunch of stuff in it you can get from eating real food (aminoooo aaaacids?) and a bunch of random bacteria and fungi that varies by location.

Aren't global bee populations dwindling as well? I wonder if collecting all this bee pollen makes it even worse.

I like a loose grip on my headphones. I have a massive head that often feels like it's being crushed by a sonic vice.

There's just more to play on the Vita, and with a bit of patience you'll have an intimidatingly large game library that you mostly got at a deep discount.

I can say 'gynosome' without giggling, so no more penis (teehee!) for me.

Yeah if Dreamworks makes a terrible CGI ninja bunny movie for Easter I will totally watch it.

This is the only way to tuck in your shirt AND let people know you have a penis. Other methods flatten out the manhood, leaving potential suitors bewildered as to what gender you may be.

You're a monster. Now excuse me while I cry from my mouth.

Yeah I downloaded it for Wii VC in 2007 :\

How is that pizza? Why are they on a morgue slab? I have so many questions.

"Now you're ferocious, like a lion's butt! Work it! Rarr." etc.