It's way too cloudy where I am to see any bloody moons *kicks rock out of pentacle*. This was a waste of my dribbliest candles.

Boob enhancement isn't even a medical procedure, but yeah I agree.

I think elective plastic surgery is horrifying, so yeah, I'd have to teach my son/daughter how to clutch their pearls right then and there.

Let's be grateful for boring parents who thought TV was a "decent babysitter". I'm so glad I never had to go sailing.

I didn't know the latter category existed. Smash Bros always has everyone I know pissing themselves laughing by the end of it.

Now all I have to do is buy back my old N64 games at 10x their price!

MUST DESTROY

I'd marry someone if they built me a sex dungeon.

This is fapptastic.

Can unsee. She's very pretty. Bieber's mascara is always running.

MK7 is the only 3DS game I go back to, playing online until my accelerator finger hurts.

Holmes and McConaughey both have extremely punchable faces.

Somebody help him!

Children are annoying monsters that I generally dislike, but I still want to raise one.

I like how her funny bone is one of her vertebra. Looks painful.

I would like to commandeer the cold linoleum floor next to the Gatorade fridge in Shoppers Drug Mart as a medical bay. That's all you need to make your tum tums feel better.

Does Chris Evans push his tits together in it? If so, I will watch it.

It's all about giving it a thorough, violent shake before you open the tub the first time. Angry dancing with yogurt is always better than stirring.

Dear Celebrities,

She is delightfully insane. She even managed to bewilder Craig on an episode of the Late Late Show when she was theorizing that The Real Housewives are probably some of the last people in America to own slaves.