Boy humour for boys and girl humour for girls!

I prefer the olden days when French mimes were safely contained in invisible boxes.

"My daughter and I enjoy reading Harry Potter together"

I had no idea the mayor of Paris was an infant.

Agreed. Can we talk about how those bachelorette party penis pops are never quite big enough or anatomically correct? It's a serious issue.

The audience, the band and the other guest were in stitches, but yeah, she's totes just a crazy, old, unfunny bitch.

So when will I be old enough to claim that my genetic material is worthless so I can avoid my family's desire for bloodbabies?

Always appropriate.

Just don't ask for a latte. Nine minutes later they'll have accidentally made you a super dry latte (the egg white omelette equivalent of coffee) that only tastes like disposable cup liner.

"I'm sick of my black tights and black ankle boots."

BaconisstillbadforyouaccordingtoScience, sorry. I really am sorry.

Not Fun Fact: Non-hydrogenated margarine is probably the best way for us to get polyunsaturated fats in our diet. I still love butter though.

I love his, "Look Ma, I'm modellin'!" face. So cute.

I wish I had shouldragons.

So now we can admit how gross it is to make out with strangers, right? If this video featured real people who weren't paid to be starry eyed I feel like we'd be more cynical.

She seems to have an irrational distaste for Angelina Jolie, who is indeed a woman. She also has tonnes of female writers and comedians on her show, and they're fucking hilarious.

She has a lot of hilarious female writers and comedians on staff and she gives them their time in the limelight. Fortune killed on Conan last week, Youtube that shiiit.

I don't understand why the writers think we care about the sexy, After School Special cultists. If you cut out all the stabbing that went on in that serial killer mansion it'd look like Dawson's Creek.

It usually takes me more than half a bottle to admit it. Oh, 'battle'. I see.

Yay my boyfriend from The Following. Now if only he could tear some screen time away from the sexy, 20-something serial killer cultists and their personal problems.