You must be new to the Gawker family. Accidental death, murder and mutilation are an opportunity for people to show off their sparkling wit.

Every single rom com movie poster has two white people in soft, golden focus staring soulfully at each other's shoulders. They alllll look the same to me now.

I wrote a really terrible short story that's kind of a parody of Cinderella with two male characters. Maybe I'll actually edit it.

No Michael Che! If you do that every person in Vancouver will be pantsless!

I don't really want to look at these crumbling, grey facades and I don't want to look at the manses either.

Would you be in favour of an Aimee Mullins doll with interchangeable (realistic) prosthetic legs? I think kids would love it.

I also hate it when women don't snap their fingers and fix all the world's problems.

Is it strange that I find the harmony too perfect and a bit off-putting? She's certainly very talented though.

I'm eating a piece of lasagne the size of a large, hardcover book out of a loose aluminum envelope with one hand and no utensils. My wrist will hurt but my stomach won't. I regret nothing.

100000 Internet Advice Points for you. I slipped in the snow in a really spectacular way today and I couldn't stop laughing. None of the bystanders thought it was funny, nor did they ask if I had broken my hip, but whatevs.

Eccleston was the Daniel Craig of Doctor Who... yup

I like greyhounds (with gin) but you have to like grapefruit juice, of course. Rum and ginger beer makes a Dark and Stormy, but only if it's with Gosling's black rum! This isn't regular black rum; it doesn't taste like bitter, burnt sugar, it tastes like tropical fruit and caramel and acrobatic group sex.

Teeth grinding will probably never go away so you need a good mouth guard. Please get one ASAP! Your dental health (is that a thing?) effects your self esteem quite a bit, and if I had made my teeth any shittier than they already are I would never leave my house and never smile again.

I don't have anything against sex work, but I'm really sorry that I used to clean floors and things for a living. Please forgive me?

I know that this is real life and not a song lyric, but sometimes men and women say things like, "I'd be nothing without him/her". It's usually just something that people say, but if you want to read more in to it that's fun too.

You're not Liz Lemon, Lena. Just no.

No no no, my kitten doesn't have a butt. As soon as he starts to turn around he is reflexively shoved off the bed. He's slowly learning.

No thanks to built in codpieces.

and I really love her electronic music (tell no one) and I want her to make more *flails*