Red wine and Coke is a kalimotxo, and it’s amazing. My Argentinian friend introduced me to it, and I will never be able to repay the debt.

A connaisseur of wine, don’t you have google?

I feel the need at this moment to re-up my fleeting brush (accent on fleeting) with meeting Matt Lauer. He was supposed to sit next to me on a flight from Nice to New York. I got to our seats first, was sitting there, he showed up (of course I had zero idea he would be my seat mate prior to this), and I looked at him…

I’m currently reading Longbourn, which is Pride and Prejudice retold from the point of view of the servants. “If Elizabeth Bennet had to do the washing of her own petticoats, she would be more careful not to tramp through muddy fields.”

1984 also brought me into this world. Everyone should be so thankful.

I detox constantly. Thanks, liver!

#NotAllEveryone

After surgery for kidney stones - and if you are in the know, you know the pain is excruciating and it’s weeks of agony - I just got the stone analysis and suggested restrictions on my diet from my surgeon.

The problem is, there’s not a box on the order form that you check that says, “I am stupidly rich and can afford to blow money indiscriminately on things like this.” A lot of the people who spend money on quack cures are people of modest means with chronic illnesses who aren’t getting better with conventional…

I would be freaking out if I found a bat in my home.

Why would Ariel Winter need a PA? To help take her bikini Instagrams?

I am so sorry! It’s such a pleasure to be able to do! I get nods from other parents who are in on it all the time. NO SHAME!

I married an English guy and my stepdad spoke to him in some sort of Cockney hybrid every. time. he. saw. him. “ELLO, GUVNAH!!” “Can you not?” “AW LUV I’M JUST TAKIN THE PISS!!”

He’s delightful and has aged extremely well. My mom is obsessed with him and used to take a dance class that consisted purely of RM songs. 

Every second that Ricky Martin is not onscreen, I will be asking “Why isn’t Ricky in this scene?” “This scene would be better if Ricky was in it.” “I’m going to pee. Pause this if Ricky returns and I’m not back yet.”

Please refer to sub-index B.02.12c for our selection of Thai-inspired deep fried Italian appetizers that come on skewers.

The nearby Wendys did this recently. They were closed for like, two months. All I could think about was that they could afford to be closed for that long and do this massive remodel, but they can’t afford to pay their employees a living wage. Plus, I think everyone got laid off, because who can afford to not work for…

The menu is so huge it gives me ordering anxiety (not sure that’s a thing but I have it).

Way worse than the ultimate mansplaining stay at home dad who posts on a women’s website hundreds of times a day.