Have some class, order a magnum of champagne and a long straw as your first drink.
Mister C.
its-krause
Tom is no millennial.
I would do the opposite of whatever the Mormon does.
You’re an alcoholic.
Don’t count other people’s drinks.
It is my hope that I will have a similar attitude towards my marriages.
Everyone has their own relationship to and tolerance for alcohol, but next time you’re at a party, you might do well…
How can you be cynical about the Olympics? What could be more thrilling than finding out what country is the best at exercising?
I think it’s just because NBC is so used to hearing the word “ratings” along with the phrase “coming in last.”
What about those of us that aren’t LGBTQ or Euro?
Exactly. You're going out to pick up your dry cleaning and get a pizza—it's not a yearlong foray into the darkest Congo.
Not interested until the Trojan Dash Button can link to Prime Now.
Not interested until the Trojan Dash Button can link to Prime Now.
In regards to the manufacture of almond milk, does the author know how many priests are required to coax the milk from the dark universe within a given almond? Are we considering that, maybe, there just aren’t enough acolytes or enough strange crystals to go around to fuel this lust? Also, what effect to the almond…
The Jesus year is for people without kids by their mid thirties (wtf grow up)
people without kids by their mid thirties (wtf grow up)
Bette Midler secretly has a burn competition with Joe Biden.
Exactly, that guy deserves all the shit he gets, that was a shitty move by a shitty person.
This actually happened to me. I was the new GF of 3 weeks. I thought we were just dropping by his parents to say hi and pick up a gift. The family was shocked that he brought a new GF and I was regaled with tales of his last GF (of nine years!),who they were hoping he would be proposing to THAT Christmas. I dumped his…
“hey Mom and Dad, just wanted to let you know, I dumped Jessica (like, yesterday). this is Bridget, the new girl that I love now (as of, like, yesterday). merry christmas! get to know each other!”
*doorbell rings*
This comment reads a lot better if you picture it being spoken from atop a literal soapbox.