But what? Everyone I know has a big "But…? C'mon, KurtWuffner, let's talk about *your* big "But".

No Stairway. Denied.

*plants a big kiss on your lips, bounces away hooting*

Instead of an alarm there's two little Asian ladies in a seashell next to the bed.

The Matrix?

—Memoir of the ugliest stripper

No clue *continues dancing*

In Rumer's favor, she very publicly shows off both of her die hards.

I was engaged to a girl back in the States. And we loved to dance… we wanted to be professionals, isn't that silly? And we got an opportunity to compete on television, on Dance USA. So we agreed that if we won, we'd get married. So we went on, and we danced, and we won! And in the excitement, we got separated. So I…

*eye twitch*

born in 1984 and my brain always regards 10 years ago as the 90s. It becomes more not the 90s every single minute but will my brain listen?

The real answer is that there is no Springfield. Its just a simulation a la Rick and Morty all for the benefit of getting professor frink to reveal the secrets of his greatest inventions to hostile alien overlords Kang and Kodos. This also explains the stupidification of homer and the increasing lameness of the…

They deserve it for not being the same age race and sex as me.

I hold these toots to be self evident.

I honestly hope that someone somewhere adopts this as being something not completely made up and that some day, years from now, they are going to tell someone about the difficulty rating of the american bowling index. I play the long game.

The takeaway here is no matter what angle you take going greek is a pain in the ass.

They call that move "The Sleeping Giant", according to the north american bowling index it has a difficulty rating of 23. can you believe that?! 23!!!

I learned that a bear is a perfectly good Pilot from Tailspin.

Like anyone else who has ever tried to take a role from Tom Cruise he was infested by thetans and had to be frozen, transported to another planet and thrown into a volcano.

Ugh fine