rock.. et.. van. Rocket van burning out its fuse *long drag from cigarette* parked out here alone.

I think its time to upgrade to a houseboat-van.

which one is the snorting blow out of a hookers butt crack outlook? I'm guessing glass half empty, because she already drank half.

I would want wi-fi too.

oh no dont let me stop you, go on

I hear this constantly while walking down the street thanks for the trigger jerk.

Unless you have to submit a ticket they dont care what you browse or how you abuse the filter. Just sayin.

he directed:

yet unfortunately no Amy Schumer.

Oklahoma: Redefining red state.

Sold out, why are you teasing me with shows I cant see >:(

it really soars in the first half, man.

Siri.. how many other men are you in love with?

With Rogen involved would you say this is a game of… High Steaks?

It sounds more like a dessert at a hole in the wall ethnic restaurant that no one wants to try. "We have Krobosh Iced Beans or Hot Paul Feig, you want serving?"

Ghostbusters 2 wasn't far off with the giant red river that turned people into assholes

Hey! Does this release date still work? Wow. This release date is great! Where can we screen it? You gotta try this release date! I'm gonna get my movie. Hey! We should premier this. Tonight! Screen here! You know, to try it out!"

bu—bu—but you say that EVERY time I ask you out *wrings hands, sweats profusely*

I got 9,999 Maniacs but a Natalie aint one.

—The Ron Jeremy Story