Are they trying to flood the superhero movie genre with X-films the same way Marvel flooded the stands with X-Men books and spin-offs in the nineties? 'Cause, y'know, that strategy actually didn't work out so well for Marvel in the end…

Neither of which makes him a writer or editor on any of these books. He may be guiding the story in general terms, issuing guidelines and a general direction to take, but I doubt his input is all that substantive— especially since, again, he has a terrible cinematic universe to fix.

But Johns ISN'T at the helm of this story. DC Universe Rebirth was the last comic he claimed to be writing, and he's too busy trying to un-f%$# the DCEU to work on editorial; this whole Watchmen crossover thing is being handled by the guys who are already killing it with the regular DC Rebirth titles.

I actually really love where the whole "Rebirth/Watchmen" story is going.

I was pretty distressed by the whole "Superior Spider-Man" thing, but I was willing to give it a chance… until the second issue of Superior Spider-Man turned out to be entirely about Doc Ock trying to get into Mary Jane's pants. That was the most sickening, gut-wrenching, yet inevitable direction for the story to get…

Wow. I wasn't trying to suggest that the show was a direct allegory for some historical event in which the U.S. overthrew a tyrannical Marxist regime. Of course that has never happened.

Maybe just use the old Lynda Carter Wonder Woman theme song, but swap out the names.

Uhhhh… But wouldn't overthrowing a Marxist regime be a definitively American goal? We've been using Communism as an excuse to start fights since the Korean War.

Exactly.

"This is indeed a disturbing universe."

This show might actually have been a BIT more interesting if, like in the Last Days of Krypton novel, it could show us the friendship and camaraderie between Jor-El and General Zod— two idealists who set out to save the world, literally and figuratively— and how they ended up drifting apart and eventually becoming…

That's an actual thing in the comic books. "Trouble" was written by Mark Millar, it's about Aunt May and Mary (Pete's mom) meeting Ben and Richard Parker, and it is completely awful.

Pretty much. They want to have their cake and eat it too: produce crappy, mid-quality TV shows based on their headline properties without damaging the cinematic brands (which the movies are pretty much doing themselves, anyway). It's the most creatively bankrupt thing I've ever seen.

I just… I don't understand why anyone thinks this is a good idea.

Billy Madison never worked for me, because Billy was just TOO stupid and annoying throughout. Even the presence of Bridgett "want to touch the heiny" Wilson wasn't enough to keep me engaged. (Though that often-reposted game show host's quote at the end is amazing.)

No… even Chancellor "UNLIMITED POWER!" Palpatine was smart enough to keep his cackling declarations of supervillainy off the public record.

Jesus Christ, people… It's a STORY. About space wizards with laser swords.

Catwoman.

The Spirit is worse than EVERYTHING. It is the apotheosis of sh*tty comic book adaptations.

I went to at least two screenings of Logan where some dipsh*t brought elementary school kids along with them. In one of them, the parent led what looked like a six-year old out of the theater when she started crying quite loudly about all the people getting brutally murdered on screen.