I just now figured out the meaning behind the Metal Gear Solid Konami screen for PS1. Kojima was trying to tell us something way back then:

Yep. Exactly. I mean, I watched a Silent Hill game get played start to finish. I may one day do it again. The person just played it, played it well, and, most importantly, DIDN’T TALK OR PEWDIEPIE ALL OVER IT.

Wait, the same taste of people who eat scorpion shishkabobs and other crazy crap?

Hmm. I mean, I certainly think people should have the same rights, regardless of x, y and z, be paid the same, not be objectified, catcalled, raped, hold positions of power. Am I a feminist? Can I still hold doors open for people because I’m nice or will I be scolded to death?

lmao that one isn’t mine, I just googled it for reference!

I’m single *cough*...

How come he doesn’t know?

...but pick one before you die.

Kill it, then marinade it in his own pee.

lmao even he’s saying “Thanks, Obama” now.

GET OFF FACEBOOK AND GET BACK TO WO—

Hi! Me again! Is there a Snacktaku in the works?? Cuz, I’m just sitting here eating soda crackers and margarine, feeling sad about my life...

I found my old Michael Keaton era b-mobile from Ertl in my mom’s cat’s toy box (not a euphemism), with his mouse, catnip bag and string and was all like “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DOING IN HERE GIMME!”

It didn’t feel like 30 days. And I’m glad it didn’t. Glad you’re back; it’s just not Kotaku without the Beard.

I have an idea for a porno spoof of this game. Any guesses what I’d call it?

*replaced snakes with arms*

Pfffffffff. “Diet” Mountain Dew? Whataya, some kind of health-conscious Appalachian kid?

It’s like she doesn’t know holy water is just tap water a priest waves his pedophiling hand over.

She’s getting her own spin-off show, I heard. It’s called- get this-

Hail Mary, full of grace