So had he just gotten Tommy John last year, he'd be halfway through his rehab and ready to go for next year. Now, he may lose this season and a good chunk of next.

My cat used the eat the foam padding from his bed, unbeknownst to us. Eventually, he got a blockage, which the vet was able to remove without surgery. He warned us that upon returning home, he was going to crap. A lot. Oh dear lord I was not prepared for the mountain of shit that cat produced that afternoon.

If I could eliminate the 50 or so channels I never watch, I'd pay $36 for the worldwide leader.

In fairness, Carr was not terrible, considering he was handed the keys to an expansion franchise in football insane Houston, and got sacked more in his first few seasons than most guys get taken down in their careers. He eventually got shell shocked and washed out. At the time though, it was a pretty solid pick. Now…

There is no defending this one.

After which he stood up, stretched, sat back down, and ordered lunch #2.

3:00. Hit a nasty pothole while holding in a deuce on the drive home. Literally knocked the shit out of me.

Robin Ventura drastically underestimated Nolan’s old man strength and a level of idontgiveafuckitude that only comes from playing a game for a living well into your 40s.

I go with anything by AC/DC. It changes every few weeks. Currently Hells Bells.

I went to Fort Lauderdale with a bunch of buddies in the 90s. We wanted to rent a Mustang convertible. When we got to the counter, the clerk told us she had just rented their last Mustang to the older gentleman ahead of us, but we could have a Sebring instead. My buddy Mike sprung into action. He chased the guy down,…

It's funny because it's The Cowboys.

Seriously. That shit is only supposed to happen in pre-cocaine Lindsey Lohan movies.

Dude! I remember that guy! He used to hang out at the bar at the Marriott after games!

I wish I could star this twice.

You have to understand the sheer volume of bandwagon Islander fans there are. These jerseys were current the last time these people gave a fuck about the team.

I had to leave the circus early with my kids at the coliseum because of the crowd around us. The circus.

Can we take it easy with calling a game in the 4th inning a “no hitter attempt”?

Can we talk about the real issue here. How is it that spending 10 days in the minors buys the Cubs an extra year of his services? Shouldn't it be like more than half a season?

There are at least 5-6 shootings that Hernandez has at least been suspected in. A few of them happened while he was at Florida and were either brushed away by police, or featured uncooperative victims.

I had a friend in college that was a legit 12". There were times he had to settle for a handy or blow job because girls were terrified of the damn thing.