I think we can rule out Derrick as a suspect if you just review his shooting percentage

Yeah, but many of these people ALSO pretended to be long-suffering Hawks fans starting about eight years ago. So it’s not like they’ve never seen ANY success.

I would root for the Red Sox to win the World Series, but I’m afraid that kind of success would cause the Boston sports fan base to lose the generosity and good natured friendliness that they are famous for, and turn them into a bunch of loud, obnoxious, arrogant, fuck butts.

Counterpoint: No.

You’re going to do this all year? Really??

Well, let’s hope the children are OK and everyone else is dead.

It’s like that episode of Southpark where their little league team is trying to deliberately lose because they don’t want to play all summer.

GTFO Skynet, you’re not fooling me.

You sound like you would be fun at parties.

Knew this idiocy would come up. Progress is progress.

“I have no problem not listening to The Temptations... which is weird.” - Mitch Hedberg

At least we don’t have the Rams anymore...

For what it is worth, Jordan in Tulsa is one of a handful of police chiefs nationwide (Acevedo in Austin is an even better example) who have made conspicuous efforts to be respectful to minority communities during times when a lot of other departments have doubled down on the racist, adversarial bullshit.

Do we know where Tony Stewart was that night?

Looks like a trend to me

Ah, a W-L truther!

“I can’t wait to get off the stage, ‘cause I’ve got a roll of LifeSavers in my pocket... and pineapple is next!” - Mitch Hedberg

“Stop calling people names, fuckface.” — You

Non-American here, not really getting all this noise, I was under the impression that the purpose of your military was to protect the interests of the country abroad and (when required) defend the country and constitution from attack. If that is accurate, then does the military not EXIST to protect the right to free…

Of course it’s not, because he never once mentioned anything about veterans or their efforts. No, that connection was made by reflexive morons who work a lot harder on composing their perfect Facebook response than they do actually thinking about what he was talking about. Because thinking is fucking hard, man!