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Everyone but the Cardinals knew Stanton wasn’t going there.

My Twitter account was permanently suspended because I told the President that he “molests collies.” True story. Twitter told me that my account will not be restored because they viewed the tweet as “hate speech.”

My account got suspended for reporting Jason Kessler. Twitter has informed me that by reporting this bigot, I have engaged in “hate speech and harassment of a group of people,” and my account will not be restored.

The cringe makes my kidneys hurt.

Careful. IKilledAGuyOnce killed a guy once.

It’s worth mentioning that they’ve been the beneficiaries of some...ahem....questionable officiating in every game.

Oh, they already are. It’s out there. Don’t look it up, though. Please.

Good morning. Shut the fuck up.

Nah. Barry’s right on this one.

They arrested a pepperoni pizza with hair.

Yes. It is.

I live in St. Louis. Went to three GameStops and each one told me they never got any in. They’re all either lying or probably sold them to themselves/friends.

Lol. No.

She was arrested for prostitution in 2010, according to the internet.

“Celebrities.” Okay.

Yes, you have. Except when you saw it, there was another comic telling the jokes first.

Gamestop tweeted you could reserve a unit in-store only (about 15-20 minutes ago). Went into my local GS immediately, all sold out. Store associate said each store is getting 10 units. My guess is they’re all going to employees.

It’s very interesting you describe Laura Loomer as a journalist. She is alt-right troll who is associated with the Proud Boys. She’s the clown that kept interrupting the Shakespeare play in NYC because she thought they were promoting violence against POTUS.