Sorry Jez, that's a nice thought, but I am afraid the answer is still:

A couple of times I had an urge to lick my son's head, like he was a pup and I was a dog. I wonder what was at play there? Or maybe I'm just a weirdo.

Yeah, the completely patronizing view of their customers is really telling, I think.

Did they seriously airbrush a baby's face? What's there to airbrush?

GAAAAWlee. If only I lived in Nooo York Citeh, I'da done knowed what "kale smoothies" are. Not that I'd want one. Because thems there thangs are for smart, skinny city folk and I'ms justa normal joe who don't go eatin' fancy green things.

So we're sending Lindy out to do a side-by-side taste test, continuing the "make Lindy try things" video trend, right?

i know someone who named their son "Braelyn"

MCKAYLEIGH?! I'm dead and I hate everyone and everyone is stupid.

I fully support any and all derivatives of the name Isabel, conditional upon them being named in honor of this one.

If my cat were the cone cat, she would've gotten up a lot sooner. She has no tolerance/is a bitch.

Made my day!

"Crusty old hag" — referring to a 16-year old. It's time for EVERYONE to get off my lawn.

Right now this is starting to feel less than rhetorical.

IMA LET YOU FINISH WITH THOSE HEARTS, DODAI, BUT BLINGEE HAS THE BEST POPE FRANCIS APPRECIATION GRAPHIC OF ALL TIME.

Me, right now:

In Bob's defense, I'd get pretty damn shirty too if I made a an obviously lighthearted joke and a whole boatload of humourless sourpusses all snotted at me. Seriously. And all his/her responses were very well measured, considering the crap thrown in his/her direction.

Not the point, but no adult human being should have a visible hickey anyway. They're strictly for teens and maybe really drunk 20 year-olds.