Seysmebitches, that dismiss button is super useful any troll you may or may not have!

Always worth re-posting.

Regina King looks AMAZING she’s definitely taking my #1 spot. I never thought I’d like anything that Christina Aguilera wears, but time has proved me wrong. She looks like an actual angel.

brb, dying of laughs.

The whole Tod working for WhatTimeIsIt.com storyline was amazing. Beginning to end. 

That or oatmeal squares, I’ve really come to love this variant and a hint of added sweetness.

Kacey Musgraves, I am now jealous that you get to hold the title of “royal high fiver”. I honestly don’t give a single hoot about your music, but this is pure gold. I would have a plaque made. Put it on my business cards. All of the things.

What does it rhyme with?? Dying to know now! Spill that tea Julia!

But being a regular person was the biggest con he ever pulled off. He was never a regular person. He was always a selfish, spoiled sociopath who couldn’t govern his way out of a cardboard box. A literal con man who has committed several crimes. Zero political experience would definitely hurt any candidate in the way…

10/10, would vote for Dave.

He was only “joking” when he “pretended to die” and hasn’t spoken a word since. It’s all about #owningthelibs! Jeeze, can’t you guys take a joke?

Yeah I’d rather him not dissolve congress or cancel the constitution, kthnx.

Is it too much to hope for a “Dave” situation, where he falls into a coma, gets replaced with a much better body double, actually solves problems, and then promptly dies?

Someone else who loves Marie Sharpe’s!! Hi friend! There is no other way to eat eggs/black beans and rice.

That is the coolest and sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.

Wow, your daughter sounds kick-ass! And that is really sweet how it all turned out for your dad. 

That’s mostly the only time I’m ever searching out a Starbucks - airport. Unless I’m flying through Seattle or something where I know there’s a good coffee place, it’s usually that or Dunkin’ Doughnuts. That or there is one conveniently in my driving route. 

“This book is written for those who share the same perverse tendency to engage in cooking as a loner spends time with his Xbox or a teenager with porn—ultimately as a delicious evasion of unpalatable realities.”

Perfect use of Larry David.

I’m positive that’s what he likes doing best. I mean, wouldn’t you? If you could just be incredibly silly and still make a gajillion dollars?