Cam Newton stole his laptop.

“That old white piece of junk that always had to be manually adjusted to come even remotely close to the outcome you intended”

Came here looking for the lamest 9-1 undefeated joke. We have a winner!

I bet he faxes in his report, and some poor intern is going to have to transcribe it.

I’m sure that guy’s takes on Cam Newton are reasonable and measured.

Step out of the car, sir.

What an old timer. He probably thinks the Panthers are still 9-0

Damn stenographer, Greg Hardy is on the Cowboys now. You went to the wrong game.

86% chance anti-Cam Hot Takes

It was only unexpected because she wasn’t taken to a movie before having a ball hit her face.

Don’t worry about Falk. He’s shown he can bounce back.

This FanDuel stuff is getting out of hand.

If West Virginia were any more inbred, it would be a sandwich.

YOU CAN Ring My Beeelllllll, Ring My bell!!!!

Black Eyes Matter

The Jews did that?

Carolina is, however, a great place for Cousins to have a great time.

Fucking Jeff, he’s always been a wishy washy douche.

Nine fans. I just saw Jeff in a Cowboys hat.