What about the wonderful video of Putin droppin’ bombs on Florida? Can’t wait to hear Trump laugh that one off. “Putin is a good friend of mine. Friends bullshit with each other, amiright?”

Couch Stretch! No, not sitting on your couch, it’s an actual stretch, and it will make you cry.

I was sorely humbled when attempting to do the couch stretch. My kids can do it and look at me like, what is the big deal? So I’ll work on this for the month. Right now I can (with difficulty) get both legs in place. But no way in Hell can I get upright.

Carrot should be Thor. Chris Hemsworth. Big, happy Chris Hemsworth.

Can someone tell me what proper police procedure is for a school shooting? Because waiting for backup when you hear assault weapons seems prudent. What the Hell would he be running into? One guy? Three guys? How good was visibility?

Eurgh, you gave me the douche chills with that “it’s just a regular Tuesday for him”...yuck.

“To the best of my knowledge, never met”

Indictments, Russian interferance...the real problem is the average American’s attention sp...hell, you’re already on to the next comment, aren’t you?

Ban assault rifles. Ban assault rifles. Ban assault rifles. We can talk about background checks and whatever later. But for the love of god, ban assault rifles.

I see vegetables, so that can’t be right.

I know, but Democrats can only do so much. Without Republican votes, and without a Trump signature, this goes nowhere. So, better to shut down the government, or better to have everything but dreamers resolved so it falls entirely on Republicans? I like door #2.

I like the Senate deal as it stands. I want an immigration deal too, but this gets rid of a budget rule that tea partiers have a serious hard on for.

You weren’t alone, I was thinking the same thing. Brady and the patriots had been having zero issues going across the field. I felt that getting the first down, then three run plays to run down the clock.

Tide commercial?

Kind of stabby looking.

Yes the popcorn end zones should be ranch and/or French onion dip.

I haven’t read the books in years, but I came away with the feeling that although Dumbledore had strong feelings, the relationship itself was unrequited.

When I see those jackets it makes me think of an echo. Police...ice...ice...ice...

No tweets. My opinion is Melania has his phone, and/or changed his password.

I hope people in the audience will start whispering “puppet” once in a while.