This is like Grover’s monster at the end of the book. I know you say “WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT A JOKE.” but damn if I don’t want to read it anyway to see if it’s a really good joke.

But it doesn’t come with mirrors.

According to a Porsche spokesperson, Porsche Brasil confirms that 37 of its new cars, in route from Hamburg, Germany to Santos, Brazil, were aboard the vessel Grande America that suffered a maritime incident near the coast of Brest, France, on March 12, 2019.

I know some cougars that are into being suffocated. Hey, it’s not my thing but they pay me well.

• If you have small children with you, protect them by picking them up so they won’t panic and run.

22 year airline employee here... answer varies. most airports (especially busy hub airports) have dedicated deicing pads with segregated drainage systems. Otherwise it generally goes down runoff drains. Airports have to submit plans for how they handle this and the environmental controls on this are pretty substantial…

You never want to see a young man struggle in his career, but when that struggle makes LaVar Ball look like a horse’s ass, it really helps the medicine go down.

“Zazie Beetz, one of Joaquin Phoenix’s co-stars in the upcoming Joker, directed by Todd Philips, said that the film took a loser approach to its scripting.”

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/4399j9/aocs-plan-to-tax-the-rich-is-the-opposite-of-radical

If you were a writer, would you have voted for him? If the answer is yes, then which writer do you volunteer to take a bullet and vote no to uphold your purity test?

Lifetime Sox fan here and Rivera’s perfect score was well deserved.

I believe the only correct answer is MASSHOLE...

Psst. Don’t tell anybody, bc it would ruin the joke, but he’s totally keeping the headphones and is actually truly grateful for them. But he couldn’t resist the joke about offering them up for trade. 

In 2019, you can buy, new:

Tom, your articles are always informative based on your ongoing experience in the business, and having you here is a real asset to Jalopnik (a win-win). Thanks.

Modern tyres may be better, but modern advertising posters not so much.

MLB Network guys touch on it at the end of this video. Also, i bet 8 year-old Steve Pearce couldn’t have imagined standing next to Pedro in that moment

This guy is why these games matter. The stars might be the big draw, but just what in the hell happened here and how in the hell did this guy - at 35 years old!!! - get a shot AND be the difference in the WS?!?!. My man is in the same sentence as Ruth and Gehrig?!?!?! I am so glad that this shit cannot possibly be…

Would’ve been funnier if the conversation with the pearl-clutching beat “reporter” didn’t go like this:

Thanks for the great article Clay and thanks to all of you who have commented. It’s a constant source of amazement that so many have joined us on the ride and are enjoying what we’re doing. We’re flat out preparing the next episode right now so it won’t be too long to wait for an update.