Season tix all 57 years in our family...this is a ball they presented to us with my grandfather’s first initial.

Fries on a sandwich isn’t disgusting. It’s just stupid. Fries and sandwiches are so much better uncoupled from one another. Besides all that, Primanti Bros. is absolute garbage food for dirt leg hillbillies who don’t know any better.

Nice to see that cut on Nelly’s face is finally healed.

Mike was like “Good gracious, pasta so tasteless”

What have you seen thus far to indicate that they are the better 5 on 5 team? Seems that the only reason this series is even close is because of the play of Elliot.

How long ‘till you’re flexible enough to take on a Waffle House waitress?

Gold bond over amens or baby powder

Are you a nurse?

About once a month in Fairport, NY from a man named Roger who doesn’t talk too much or ask questions. He plays classic country, bluegrass and gospel music. He charges $12, and I give him $15. Don’t tell me about how much you save by doing it at home for free. You are the one missing out. It’s the best $15 I can even…

You want pizza? I got your pizza right here.

You’re a douchebag for saying a man is a pussy for taking his wife’s name. You’re a douchebag for assuming he’s just “afraid to tell his wife no” and all that implies. You’re a douchebag for being unable to fathom two people creating a hybrid name. You’re a douchebag for citing what a hassle it is to change names as a…

Yes, the point is that you are painfully insecure and also a [very unconvincing, btw — “I called him a pussy but I didn’t say man up, so I never tried to say he was less manly than me”?] liar.

Are you trolling?

So if I don’t want to be forced to change my name, that means I’m not happy to be married to my husband? Or not quite as happy as I could be? That’s an interesting metric.

at the very least, you don’t respect him

They didn't say it, but that's what they were thinking.

Pussy.

Let me guess; former douchebag frat boy that can’t find better things to be proud of?

I thought you were serious, but then I got to the Hot Tub Time Machine reference. Ludicrous. Good kinja.