McGregor got KO’d by a guy with no power who threw something like 12 total punches in the first two rounds. He showed that he was so little of a threat that one of the most defensive boxers of all time actually opened up and started attacking. Mayweather might as well have given him a noogie for how seriously he took…

I made this the first time he hit a home run. Hopefully I don’t need to post it often.

“Hey, you know what’s a good business to be in these days? Print media.”

It’s always funny to see how people like you are conditioned to protect your brands. You’ve bought in completely to the giant companies’ (like Budweiser) plan to paint craft beer in a snobby or feminine light in order to retain idiots, like you, as customers. The companies realize they sell an inferior product so they…

I started eating fish sticks before I ate actual seafood.

Most veils are pretty transparent. I would feel goofy about bragging about my ability to see through one.

My only quibble with your comment is that Mother Theresa IS ALSO an asshole LOL But yes this is entirely spot on. Elon Musk is amazing.

I’m in government, so I sincerely hope so.

I’m not going to criticize a basketball player for choosing paid basketball work over unpaid basketball work.

“The last time a census form sent to most American households asked a question about U.S. citizenship was in 1950.”

Alright there, Mr. Fancy Mustard, what’s next? Wearing tan suits and putting your feet up while you talk on the phone?

Somebody never left the resort.

Counterpoint: she’s a garbage person who willingly married an even larger garbage person to reap the benefits of unimaginable material wealth, so fuck her. If she feels humiliated, that’s a good thing because it means she has a tiny shred of humanity left inside her.

I’m with you on not bashing women’s looks, even when they’re not people I like. But honestly this was one of the more flattering options Getty had.

Have a star just for the last paragraph of your comment.

Congrats on that reach.

Objection overruled.

This is why I record myself in the office. Years and years of experience and I just keep getting better. Year 2: shut the door when you sleep. Year 4: they’re all gone by 6 that’s when it’s sAfe for the vodka. Year 12: vodka is ok really anytime as long as your on time. Year 15: board shorts and a super soaker on…