I’m old enough to remember to read the first paragraph of the article.

I love your name.

You can map out the speed needed to clear the gap, but jumps don’t always go to plan. On that freeway jump, if he came up short, that bike would 100% wind up on the freeway. You know, gravity and stuff :)

so we should just waste all of that sweet sweet horse meat?

Moo York City?

I love it. For whatever reason, the dildo was exclusively found to be humorous by males.

I was right on the cusp of the digital age, so any photos of it were taken with a disposable camera and are surely lost forever. But the memories live on...

I, uh... had a large black dildo as a shift knob in my jeep for about a month while I was in high school.

It is important to differentiate between being an American “soccer fan” and being a fan of American Soccer. One makes you an outlier and, likely, the annoying guy at your office. The other makes you insane.

They are so, so good.

1. Jalapeno

Your home cooking doesn’t taste like restaurant quality, so your assumption is that the restaurants are the ones doing it wrong?

Seriously, this player is bullshit.

Skunk fuck-couch is my new go-to insult. Thank you!

Holy. Shit.

Should have done this to him.

Weh doh? No, no. The “d” sound you describes likely comes from not being able to roll the tongue into the “r” sound, but is not the way a spanish speaker would pronounce it.

It can’t happen, in a true “choke” sense. Like, you’re not going to “swallow” your tongue. It can block your airway kind of if you are on your back. And if that was the concern of the players, then allow him to remain on his side, so the tongue falls to the side of the mouth and not to the back of the throat.

I cringed when they turned him over and began jostling his head. If he had a neck injury, they could have paralyzed him. If they thought he was just knocked unconscious, why react like that? I’m baffled by the players’ reaction. Anything above the shoulders should be left to professionals, especially when you know…

Risky... but it just might work.